In recent days, Nick Carter has opened
up about the drug addiction that nearly ended his life as he promotes
new memoir Facing The Music And Living To Talk About It.
On Monday, the teen heartthrob returned to talk show Dr Phil - where he was originally encouraged to write the book - for a candid chat addressing the downward spiral that he's finally come out the other side of.
But while the 33-year-old is thanking his lucky stars he found the strength and will to survive, sadly, the same can't be said for his younger sister Leslie - a tragic fact that still haunts him.
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The bubbly blonde lost her battle with drug addiction in February 2012, aged just 25 - a tragic turn of events Nick says he blames himself for.
Recalling that fateful day all too clearly, the Backstreet Boys star simply describes it as 'horrific'.
'There's definitely a part of me that did blame myself,' he told the psychologist, adding that he always felt tremendous responsibility as the eldest of the family's five siblings.
The singer dedicates his biography to the memory of his beloved sister, whom he says his parents unsuccessfully attempted to have diagnosed with bipolar disorder for years.
Admitting that he still feels a lot of blame over her apparent accidental overdose, he acknowledges that there comes a point where he has to move on for the sake of his remaining siblings.
'It was tough. You have to find a way to move on as well as take care of your family at the same time.'
Nick admits he always had a troubled relationship with his sister and sadly reveals that he had been forced to distance himself from her in recent months prior to her death both for his own well being and hers, as each fought to overcome their demons.
However, these actions led to his family turning on him, blaming him for Leslie's death.
According to the star, his family believes Leslie would still be alive today if Nick had been there for her more.
A clearly heartbroken Nick fought back the tears as he explained, 'I thought that was unfair. There comes a point where you have to ask yourself if you're hurting them or helping them [by being around].'
On the day of her funeral, Nick didn't have the strength to attend as he continued to feel pressure and hatred on the behalf of his family - specifically his father, Bob, with whom he always had a contentious relationship.
'The reason I did not go... I started to get blamed by the rest of the family for her death,' the singer reveals.
'It has been toxic,' he adds of his relationship with his family ever since. 'The communication is something I'm still trying to work on by going to therapy.'
Asked by Dr Phil whether or not he believes Leslie's overdose was intentional, Nick struggles to answer.
On Monday, the teen heartthrob returned to talk show Dr Phil - where he was originally encouraged to write the book - for a candid chat addressing the downward spiral that he's finally come out the other side of.
But while the 33-year-old is thanking his lucky stars he found the strength and will to survive, sadly, the same can't be said for his younger sister Leslie - a tragic fact that still haunts him.
Scroll down for video
Nothing to hide: Nick Carter opened up to Dr
Phil during a candid interview that aired on Monday, in which he delved
into his drug addiction and the blame he felt for his sister's overdose
death last year
The bubbly blonde lost her battle with drug addiction in February 2012, aged just 25 - a tragic turn of events Nick says he blames himself for.
Recalling that fateful day all too clearly, the Backstreet Boys star simply describes it as 'horrific'.
'There's definitely a part of me that did blame myself,' he told the psychologist, adding that he always felt tremendous responsibility as the eldest of the family's five siblings.
The singer dedicates his biography to the memory of his beloved sister, whom he says his parents unsuccessfully attempted to have diagnosed with bipolar disorder for years.
Admitting that he still feels a lot of blame over her apparent accidental overdose, he acknowledges that there comes a point where he has to move on for the sake of his remaining siblings.
'It was tough. You have to find a way to move on as well as take care of your family at the same time.'
Nick admits he always had a troubled relationship with his sister and sadly reveals that he had been forced to distance himself from her in recent months prior to her death both for his own well being and hers, as each fought to overcome their demons.
However, these actions led to his family turning on him, blaming him for Leslie's death.
According to the star, his family believes Leslie would still be alive today if Nick had been there for her more.
Troubled upbringing: Nick (centre with, from
left, siblings BJ, Leslie and twins Angel and Aaron in 2006) says he and
Leslie 'had a very hard relationship our whole life', but would do
anything to have her back
Not great odds: Nick blames the family's
unstable household as the reason three of the five siblings - he, Aaron
and Leslie (pictured) - struggled with addiction and stints in rehab
A clearly heartbroken Nick fought back the tears as he explained, 'I thought that was unfair. There comes a point where you have to ask yourself if you're hurting them or helping them [by being around].'
On the day of her funeral, Nick didn't have the strength to attend as he continued to feel pressure and hatred on the behalf of his family - specifically his father, Bob, with whom he always had a contentious relationship.
'The reason I did not go... I started to get blamed by the rest of the family for her death,' the singer reveals.
'It has been toxic,' he adds of his relationship with his family ever since. 'The communication is something I'm still trying to work on by going to therapy.'
Asked by Dr Phil whether or not he believes Leslie's overdose was intentional, Nick struggles to answer.
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